Posted by THE NUN II; 2023, theatrically released September 8. Rated R. New Line. 1h50m
Starring Taissa Farmiga,, Jonas Bloquet, Storm Reid, Anna Poppellwell.
Written by Ian Goldberg, Richard Naing, and Akela Cooper. Story by Akela Cooper. Based on characters created by James Wan and Gary Dauberman.
Directed by Michael Chaves.
I promise the review isn’t filled with nun-based puns. That’s it. I don’t have the care in my dislike to give it that effort.
Scares from The Nun II: One. Scoffs at the Nun II: About two dozen.
The interconnected Conjuring film universe has been a mixed bag. From the fantastic opening pair, the alright of the Annabelle series (One is meh, Two is solid, I am particularly fond of the third as a fun haunted attraction as a movie), and the less than stellar entries of Conjuring 3 and the Curse of La Llorona. Unfortunately, Michael Chaves, the director of those two, is back, and delivers the worst of the nine films so far.
The original 2018 The Nun film was ultimately a mixed bag. My Review. Cody’s Review. The short of it: nice atmosphere that is ruined by cheap jump scares with an interesting lore heavy backstory and location that feels pulled straight from Hellboy/BPRD. Unfortunately, the sequel squanders any good will of the original for a rote, generic, tension-less standard issue flick.
Returning to the sequel is Taissa Farmiga as Sister Irene. In the first face off with the Demon in Nun Form Valek (still Bonnie Aarons as the face of the franchise), she was the young devotee paired with the experienced Father. As Demain Bichir’s Father Burke has not returned (leaving a hole where his charisma was), Irene moves to veteran spook catcher, with Storm Reid filling in as younger nun receiver of exposition. When we meet her, we find her backstory of being a poor Black girl in Mississippi and needing to leave, ending up in Europe. This is all the character she gets, sorry. Not like anyone has anything to work with. Any of the characters could be wholly replaced by a different description and not much would change. Nothing gained or lost, no realizations, no struggles to confront. Sure, many movies have this – especially horror movies, but it feels empty as one watching as it’s meant to be more.
The pair move across 1956 Europe investigating murders, which may be from Valek; in the climax of the first she possessed Maurice, aka Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet, returning), aka the unnecessary character of the first who only existed for exposition and tying to the first Conjuring movie. Maurice now works at a school, formerly a monastery. There he connects to a lonely girl Sophie (Katelyn Rose Downey) along with her teacher-mom Kate (Anna Popplewell, Susan from Chronicles of Narnia! Good to see you again, sorry it’s in this). I question this school. It’s 10 years old, in a big location, but seems to have one class of 8 girls. Girls who vanish for a long portion of the movie while loud things are happening. It feels like a Horror Movie Hospital, empty corridors that should be filled with people except “it’s cheaper and scarier without the people who should be there”. Also, it’s a set that never turns on the lights. Oooh, spooookie.
This lead up is dreadfully dull, filled with standard issue scare sequences: something appears in the dark in the background. A shift. OH NO IT’S CLOSER. Then it’s gone. AND NOW IT’S HISSING IN FRONT OF US. Each of these sequences is so directly and clearly set-up and plainly shot that no tension is allowed to build. Some of these sequences seem to be added in later. There should be reactions in some way to a few deaths, but nope. One in particular is a big “why is no one mentioning this” until it does have a bit, one that could be easily be shifted in post. It’s noticeable.
Okay, I’ll admit there is ONE sequence which is very clever and thrilling (though where it was leading was obvious). I’ll give the movie this bit as a portion that succeeds in its aim. It’s too bad this wasn’t extended to the rest.
Eventually, the nuns catch up to the main plot of the possessions/murders, frustrating to the viewer as we’re clearly given the answer to their mystery early on, outside of the fact we’re watching The Nun II and know it’s the same thing. So we wait as they put together the half-thought out clues pointing them to the school. They would never have found it at all from what they know: the church generally points Irene in the direction without any real knowledge that she could be of help or connected. This happens often, between Irene’s visions, people putting information together from scant clues in a way that would make Batman ‘66’s Robin question it for sheer “how?” and the big shortcut of “oh, hey, I know a guy who might know something… he does here’s our answers”. People continually get knowledge out of thin air.
At least when the plots meet, the movie gets dumber as it shifts into a more action-horror, but also becomes exponentially sillier. A MacGuffin is introduced that leads to scoffs and “reallys” among my audience (myself included). Once it joins the film, it opens the gates to a whole lot of silly things when the movie tries to get Big but just comes off humorous.
Including a CGI Goatman.
I repeat CGI Goatman.
Ugh.
Poor Bonnie Aarons isn’t given much to do but glower and grunt and gesture. She suddenly has five times the power she had in another other appearance, another head scratcher.
On the performance end, they are just ciphers. No one is bad, but no one is good. I add to the scoffs in shifting accents. Accents come and go, often within the scene. Anna Popplewell is English, but has an Irish accent sometimes. Katelyn Rose Downey IS Irish, but has an American accent. American Taissa Farmiga occasionally has an English lilt.
THE NUN II is easily the worst of the mixed-result franchise. There is a done-to-death emptiness about it. It has little to no tension in its repetitive scare sequences. Its characters are nothing. The plotting is contrived and filled with coincidence, along with inane leaps of knowledge and logic. At least it gets a little funny and silly in the end, although the climax is a big dumb cop-out. Any of these are forgivable when the other aspects work, but coming together the Nun II is generic and lazy.
D
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