This Week in Theaters – March 1st, 2019

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March comes in like a lamb.. and out like an Elephant (Disney’s Dumbo). But the Lion of March is going be Captain Marvel next week.  We do have two wide releases this week, one larger than the other with a built in crowd. The other a small thriller. A smattering of notable limited releases round out the week.

Wide Release

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral –

“comedy” – Written and directed by Tyler Perry; Starring Tyler Perry, Cassie Davis, and Mike Tyson. PG-13; 102 minutes

Oh God. Cody may be up for this, but fuck this series. Here I admit I’ve seen no Madea films on the whole, but I have seen clips. I do not get the appeal. Saying bad, broad jokes louder doesn’t make them funny. Perry screams at the backrow as Madea. It’s grating. I was hoping when I pulled up the plot for this entry is Madea would be dead and it would be her funeral. No release for us, instead her family and crew go to backwoods of Georgia for a funeral. Hijinx happen. Plus, if Madea died, she’d just be a very loud ghost and we’d be haunted for ever.  Apparently this is the last of the series. So thank Bowie for small favors.

I note I didn’t even watch this trailer – yeah I’ll admit I’m bagging on something I’ve not seen seen.

As of Wednesday 2/27, there are no reviews. That’s a good sign. Not that a matters, this movie is critic-proof. All have awful reviews, but make money hand over fist.


Horror/Thriller; Written by Ray Wright & Neil Jordan; Directed by Neil Jordan; Starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Isabelle Huppert, Maika Monroe. R. 98 minutes.

A young woman finds a bag on the subway. Inside is the info for the lost owner. They befriend eachother, although Greta – the owner- seems a little off. Then it turns out Greta sets up these meets, becomes a stalker, and terrorizes the women when they find out. That’s all you need to know. Don’t watch the trailer. It’s one of those that goes on about a minute and half longer than it should (don’t see also – The Intruder trailer.)  I’m so in for this. I love Isabelle Huppert looking intense and Chloe Grace Moretz can be very good.  I love a good Fatal Attraction style thriller.  Neil Jordan has made many great films – The Company of Wolves, Crying Game, Interview with the Vampire, Byzantium. I’m in.

So far the critics are mixed, sitting at 54, saying it’s a bit thin but well made with solid performances.

Limited Release


Horror/Musical. R; Written and directed by Gaspar Noe; R; 98 minutes

Gaspar Noe is a troubling, dividing filmmaker with his works – including Irreversible, Love, and Enter The Void. He returns is a drug laced horror musical. A team of of dancers are in rehearsals at an isolated abandoned mansion. After the find out their drinks have been heavily dosed with LSD, things get all fuckered. I can’t wait, but must do so one more week until it opens in Seattle.

Reviews are strong at 77 over 21 reviews; including several 100 scores.

Apollo 11

Documentary; Directed by Todd Douglas Miller; G. 93 minutes.

A documentary looking at, wouldn’t you know, the Apollo 11 mission, using newly seen footage, restored and made palatable for IMAX viewings. You may hem and haw that we’ve seen this a hundred times already. True, we have- hell First Man is still fresh in people’s minds. But science docs are important now with an administration shitting on science. We need reminders. And you know what, this footage will look and amazing on an IMAX screen.

Solid reviews place at #2 of the year so far at 91 average. Bob will be seeing it sometime this weekend. It’s only playing one week until Captain Marvel takes the IMAXes. REVIEW


Action; directed by Le-Van Kiet; NR; 98 minutes

An ex-gang leader is living a quiet life. Until her daughter is taken by a syndicate. Like John Wick, you don’t wake a sleeping dog (or kill Wick’s). Mom gets her bloody revenge. The trailer shows a film that is energetic, with exciting action fight choreography, and the color use of a giallo. I want to see this!

No reviews at Metacritic yet, but fellow Seattle critic Brent of “The Last Thing I Saw” posted a review.

Saint Judy

Biography, Drama; Written by Dmitry Portnoy; Directed by Sean Hanish; Starring Michelle Monahan, Common; PG-13; 96 minutes

The story of an immigration attorney who was able to change the US Asylum laws to help battered women. Very noble work, no matter how the film goes. Not really a film I’m interested in sitting down to see but I do hope it’s good; this type of film can get melodramatic and preachy.

No reviews yet.


Drama; Written and directed by Christian Petzold from the novel; NR; 101 minutes

A man flees to Marseilles during WWII with stolen papers, assuming the identity. In Marseilles, he meets a woman looking for her missing husband. Guess who?  The twist here in not attempting to recreate WWII era-France, instead using modern world. Looks pretty solid and the reviews are great at 78.

Wedding Guest

Thriller; Written and directed by Michael Winterbottom; starring Dev Patel. R; 94 minutes.

A man is hired to kidnap the bride of a wedding in Pakistan… by the woman. Secrets and thrills, and shootouts come of this. Could be good. Metacritic is at 59.

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