Posted by The Exorcist: Believer; 2023; Theatrically released October 6, 2023. Universal/Blumhouse. 1h51m. R
Directed by David Gordon Green; Screenplay by Peter Sattler & David Gordon Green; Screen story by Scott Teems & Danny McBride. Based on characters by William Peter Blatty
LOUD NOISE.
20 seconds of dull storytelling.
LOUD NOISE.
A shot, action, or line reading that was unintentionally silly.
LOUD NOISE.
Repeat for one hour and fifty-one minutes.
There. You’ve now experienced David Gordon Green’s The Exorcist: Believer.
You can thank me later.
The end. … well, apparently I have to write more. Although I’m my own editor and only like a dozen or so people will read this. Fine. What a lovely day for a movie review.
In the fifty years since the original classic The Exorcist, directed by the recently passed William Friedkin and scripted, from his own book, William Petty Blatty, attempts to sequelize the property have been met with mostly terrible fates. The Exorcist II: The Heretic is a wild, out-there sequel that has moments of unbridled insanity lost to a mostly boring mess of half-thought ideas. In The Exorcist III (aka Legion), Blatty added director to his duties while also adapting his novel. Interestingly, he considered his The Ninth Configuration (also written from a novel by and directed by Blatty) to be the actual Exorcist II (there is a direct connection in the astronaut Regan warns “you’re going to die up there”, but it’s more of a spiritual continuation). Funnily enough, it features actors from the original and the third part as different characters. The Exorcist III is my personal favorite, though I recognize the original as the best made. I’m glad it’s gained traction as a cult favorite. The TWO prequel attempts, one by Paul Schrader and one by Renny Harlin, are both dull, forgettable slogs.
But the two-season TV show is fantastic. A true sequel in story and quality. Of everything that follows the 1973 film, it was by far the best. As I write this, I’ll admit I’m only 75% through after starting it last month, but I cannot wait to finish it in the next few days.
In 2023, David Gordon Green takes his attempt, in what is meant to be the first of a new trilogy. Green has just come off a legacy sequel Halloween trilogy, which made buttloads of cash commercially and was a bit uneven critically. Personally, I love Halloween 2018, which has become my #3 Halloween movie after 1978, and the unconnected Halloween III. Halloween Kills is a bit of a mess but I can appreciate parts of it. Halloween Ends was a big shift that didn’t quite work but I really liked it nonetheless. Jason Blum just paid $400 million (yes you read that right) for the rights of the franchise, so it makes sense to give the keys to someone who brought success.
Unfortunately, nothing was learned from the failed attempts in The Exorcist: Believer, Like the above movies and TV show, and, as is the rage currently, Believer functions as a NEW Exorcist II. Perhaps fittingly, it’s more like that entry than any of the others.
The new film is mostly dull, often annoying, and has a few ridiculous moments. Not enough to make it recommendable even on that level, but it’s nice to have a quick laugh to break the endless sighs.
The basic synopsis before moving forward, for context to my complaints. Leslie Odom, Jr, is a single dad (the mom died giving birth after the Haiti earthquake, in the “maybe this could work” opening) for a 13-year-old girl. She and a friend go missing in the woods one day after school. Three days later the girls show up 30 miles away with burned feet and memory loss. Soon it’s clear both are possessed. Odom and other people around the girls, other parents, neighbors, and some randos who are just there have to figure out how to save their girls. Give you a hint – it’s in the title. Kinda. There is no actual exorcist, nor am I sure who Believer is referencing either.
I can’t tell you because there is no character here. A single trait is usually tied to their faith, if someone’s lucky, but don’t expect character arcs, growth, really looking at one’s self for choices, etc. The actors have nothing to grasp onto and are left flatly flailing. When Ann Dowd is bad, you’ve failed. Between “no one talks like this” lines, inane actions, and a series of poorly written, repetitive, and empty inspirational speeches (especially the last one), the film sputters away with a terrible script. There is a little lip service to some things, but it’s only that. Quick throwaways that attempt to deepen characters but don’t make a difference. At least no one spouts “Pazuzu dies tonight” two hundred times.
The original works because of character. The Exorcist is Father Karras’s story. His guilt (Blatty’s work teems with Guilt, especially of the Catholic variety, and how it affects his characters) and the crisis of faith is what drives the film. The exorcism is almost secondary. Regan’s exorcism is the vehicle, the physical battle, but the internal emotional one is the core. Everyone is going through big moments: Karras, Merrin, Regan, Chris. But it’s all grounded in reality. How these characters and the events unfold is gripping.
Blatty and Friedkin gave it time to unfold before the various pieces came together. Regan’s possession is a build, not slow but deliberate; questions are raised, a back and forth of the characters (including Pazuzu) begins and escalates. Tension grows from this. The aura of growing evil pervades.
Growing evil is eschewed for a quick “Hey we’re fully possessed, time to do the cliche possession stuff.” There is no build. There is no narrative flow as scenes end before their conclusion, knowledge reaches are made, and entire sequences and ideas are abandoned (leaving the viewer saying – oh that was a good idea! Explore it… Hrm, guess not). The idea of a double possession is great! Nothing is really done with this, letting the idea do the legwork. Instead of an atmosphere of terror, Green elects to lean heavily on jump scares and loud noises. Every scene transition is a BANG (and often awkward, reminding me of the strange transitions of Halloween Ends such as Corey on his bike with Allison but the scene flow would be Michael! That sort of thing), and each scene has multiple jumps. It’s overwhelming and tired by the ten-minute mark.
This falseness removes any tension that might be built but annoys the audience, to the point that the scenes that SHOULD have tension have nothing. It’s flat and unresponsive, outside of a few choice shots that seem meant to elicit a “hell yeah” but instead bring a laugh. There are many weird cuts and shots. I wonder if these are added in, or remnants of lost bits; it feels disjointed.
Green can build an atmosphere. We saw it in the Halloween trilogy. Those felt like autumn, the holiday filled the air. The third act, where things should have reached a boiling point has nothing to latch on to; those loud noises transition to a whole lot of people screaming over one another. I generally avoid spoilers but will talk about the third act this time. So that’s your warning.
Time to stop if you don’t want third-act spoilers.
Okay, if you’re still here, let’s go. It’s decided by the possessed pairs’ parents to try to exorcize the two themselves. Moving away from Catholic Priest Fights A Demon, instead, we have the Spiritual Avengers Assemble to each give half-assed goes in a single attempt (compare to the building battle of wills of Merrin & Karas vs Pazuzu). It sounds like a bar joke: a priest, a minister, a vodoun priest, a former nun, and a guy who has some sort of snake handling (?) gather to try to annoy the demon out of the girls. It’s not scary, it’s silly. And loud. And stupid.
It all is loud and stupid. Exorcist: Believer would be a generic possession flick that is obviously ripping off the 1973 original. Adding the title of the defining exorcism movie that has pervaded pop culture for 50 years is an insult. The Exorcist: Believer is a hollow exercise that vomits pea-soup all over the legacy of the Exorcist and the graves of Friedkin and Blatty.
Watch the TV show instead. It’s worth your time.
D-
PS Ellen Burtysns in this. For the filmmakers, it’s to give credence to the sequel. For her, to fund a college’s drama program. She delivered her performance like she was standing at Jason Blum’s desk waiting for him to write the check. I didn’t mention her until now because she’s useless in this story and doesn’t make an impression at all.
PPS Can we stop making Legacy Characters miserable when re-used in their late sequels? Han Solo, Laurie Strode, Indiana Jones, Chris MacNeill, Dewey Riley, etc. It’s tired and a disserve to them in most cases (I’ll admit it mostly worked in Halloween ‘18.). Let them be happy.
